Sacrificing Competence in the Name of Perfection

My second-biggest problem (after not-eating for a long time, then later over-compensating), is not buying/making "less than perfect" or slightly higher-carb food... only to result in my not having food at all when I don't have energy, time, money, defrosting time, or hating what I have because I'm sick of it (or more often, my teen is).

So for the sake of not buying pinto beans or peas for stew, or deli meat, or almond meal, because those are not ideal foods, instead I either starved (usually), or (if I let the teen talk me into it) ordered pizza.

Oh yeah... that helped.

I suppose it's better to be less than ideal sometimes, than off-plan when you haven't time, money, energy, or other elements in place for the ideal.

For a long time I have not had certain foods in my house like beans and peas and carrots for adding to stew (I swore off legumes for no good reason except they were 'a little' carby and the eating plan folks I like seemed to add them to grains as the devil), deli meats, almond meal, soft cheeses for making salad dressings, because they weren't sufficient protein/fat and hence were less than perfect, higher carb, etc.

As a result, my food options ALL require cooking and have such a tiny range of variety that my teenager keeled over off the edge of boredom long ago.

I have a lot of smart journal friends who try to course-correct me on this regularly. Being rather type-A, and a bit of the "anything worth doing is worth overdoing" sort, I am prone to sacrificing being relatively competent at my eating plan in the name of being as close to perfect as possible.

Additionally, I'm neurotic about not affording grass-fed meat/eggs/dairy. I think that worsens how I over-compensate everywhere else.

I can't eat enough meat/eggs/cheese to make 1500 calories and 18 carbs most the time even when I try. My food options are going to have to expand a LOT if I want to raise both to whatever 'max' level turns out to work for me. Actually right now my mind is still boggling over that concept. Short of living on bacon and avocado (which really, is not such a horrible fate...) I don't know how that's going to work out. We'll see.

* 

I've been thinking about a new approach (and more common posting) for this blog.

I think it would be nice to see more focus on Low-Carb just because it's awesome and healthy, and not just because people are despairing over being fat and hoping it will bail their ass out of it. That's great, but that's not the only reason it's cool.

Sure, it might be great for fat loss, but it's also great for lean gain, and it's also great for health reasons that aren't accompanied by obesity, and it's also great for just being very tasty, non-commercially processed food that doesn't hurt you. It's the divine food!

I also think it'd be nice to see more focus on the range of Low-Carb (let's say <80 carbs -- which is still lower than top Atkins or a lot of diabetic plans, which is what, 120?).

One reason I rejected everything down to VLC or ZC, in addition to the fact that a) I like meat and b) I was desperate because weight loss and stopped and I felt crappy and I thought doing LC "harder" was the answer...  is because I felt guilty about the occasional thing like almond muffins, or coconut meal. They were too low on good fats or protein to count as food at all I felt.

I had the same theory about big-ass salads I might add -- my prejudice was less that sweetener was involved in some dishes, as the lack of O3/protein.

Yet dropping to VLC and even ZC repeatedly didn't help me in retrospect, did it? And aside from the macronutrient element, for me at least, eating that way has a variety of side-effects that are problematic, from major food boredom, to the fact that I end up with every food requiring shopping/defrosting/cooking/cleaning.

If you look at most LC recipes online, with rare exceptions they are so LC per serving that I could eat 5 meals a day and still be in the VLC (<35) camp. When I browsed my LC forum with this in the back of my head, I realized that aside from some targeted boards, nearly everything "by default" in most of the online LC world is not just LC, it's VLC. I hadn't really noticed that before.

*

So following on my previous most-depressing-post-of-all-time, and after re-reading an old '97 post I had written about my one foray into the so-called Fat Acceptance world, and after considering my planned shift in intake, I've decided to slightly change the focus here.

I am going to remove the few refs to weight-loss (aside from a few great blog links and the occasional mention). This is not a diet blog, though it became one, I'm pulling that out. Lowcarb is valuable on its own terms regardless of weight issues.

I'm going to add a few refs to FA stuff. I don't care what I eat, I'm never going to be thin so I might as well accept it and move on, without the angst. I'll do the best I can, with creative adaptations here and there, and the result will be whatever it is. If the result is healthier (with a little more energy), I'll be happy for that, regardless of size. If it's a smaller size, great, but that can't be my focus anymore. The fail of that 'lust for result' is pretty obvious after five years. If what you're doing isn't working, do something else.

I'm also going to increase the focus on the larger spectrum of LC not just VLC. I would like to work on finding some more middle ground than "just meat" or "high-carb" especially for the sake of my teen.

And I'm going to start focusing more on lifestyle issues.

Ideas welcome.

*

I'm changing the blog design as well. Looks funky right now, but I'm still working out ideas.