Loco Motion

Be careful what you ask for, people always say, and of course they're right.

After telling my husband I would be doing the shopping, cooking and cleaning from now on, today was a real alpha-test of just how practical this is.

I got up at 6 and did some email, showered, woke up the kid, then spent an hour cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, just in time to scarf down food and drive her to school. Came back just in time to get ready for work at 8:30. Got off work just before 6pm, just in time to go to the grocery store and shop as we're missing many core ingredient-foods. Got home just in time to take the kid to her dance class. Class finished, dropped her friend home, and went to the store to shop for the ton of stuff I discovered we don't have in the kitchen. (Why is it that he doesn't buy all the non-food stuff needed, like paper/foil/plastic wraps, storage containers, paper towels, etc.? And we were out of every basic thing (like mayo, mustard). And my housekeeper stayed extra and cleaned out the cupboards today and we threw away a bunch of rusty stuff so I needed some new pans and implements.) We were also shopping (me and the kid) allegedly to buy her a couple clothing items but that was a real disaster of stubborn bad fashion taste and arguing with mom I don't want to get into right now, as I just found emotional equilibrium and don't want to blow it haha. Then I came home and, mercifully, talked DH into helping me bring the bags in from the car. Finally got all the stuff put away. It was midnight.

I normally spend about 5-10 minutes a day on my feet. Today it was well over 4 hours. My shoes are basically a form of house shoe, no padding/support whatever. My feet think they are in hell. I could barely walk by the time I got home.

And I never got a chance to eat after 8:30am.

I fell asleep sitting up an hour or so ago and just woke up, briefly I think, realized it's tomorrow already, and I have to get up in 4.5 hours.

Of course, this is the life I led for five years of single motherhood. This was one reason why, despite 4 of 5 years of marriage being to a 'roommate/friend', despite 5 years of single motherhood, I agreed to have her dad move back in with me -- I was so exhausted, and she was starting to do poorly in school, get chubby, I thought some help with good food and her schedule and having a dad around who could do exercise-ish things with her and so on might help. He hasn't really been all that useful, so that's that. But I see that a year and a half of pawning off responsibility for the food-world on someone else has made me soft!

And this day has made me utterly exhausted. Have you any idea how much fun it is NOT to walk around on bad shoes carrying well over 400lbs? With a body that adiposity mis-aligns in spine and hips, and with thighs too big so preventing straight steps, so the process is more like a slightly hunched forward Frankenstein duck-waddle?

The average person has a hard enough time exercising; note how few gym memberships are used after 3 months. Even just moving, for life, let alone exercise, is insanely more complicated and difficult and severely un-fun when a person is overweight, and more obese they are, the moreso.

For breakfast I got the kid kiwi fruits and I'm making soyrizo & eggs, and for lunch... I dunno. I have a lot of food. I don't think I could stuff another egg into my fridge right now. I need to dedicate quite a bit of time to a massive fridge cleaning... next project!

For another day. My feet are unconscious. My head keeps lolling, I am that wiped out. My daily personal "activity level" has just jumped by several orders of magnitude. I hope, eventually, this is a positive thing for my metabolism, at least! All this motion... so suddenly... is crazy.

Back to sleep now.